Roses are red,

or are they blue?

Hell I don’t know

but I do like you.

I love you more

than my truck’s tires.

Yer more useful than my

old rusty pliers.

You cook a good deer

and fry a good egg,

just wish you’d shave that

hair off your legs.

If you decide not to do it, Pumkin Face,

It’s okay, I’ll still feel the same,

I’ll just keep on tellin my buddies,

yer up fer a part in Planet of the Apes.

Yer my pride and joys,

What a lady!

But hows come we do it

only when it’s my payday?

When I ran over ya with my truck,

you didn’t even say “ouch.”

And you are so cute,

when you wipe your boogers under the couch.

I hope we stay together,

at least a couple more days-

cuz I’m really horny

and I want to get laid.